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#FRIENDS25 Rankings: Season 1

With September 22nd marking the 25th anniversary of Friends, celebrations surrounding the show are in full swing. Given the show has an Is This Heaven? 10 out of 10 stamp of approval, I thought it was only right I get in on the action. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be ranking every episode, first within each season and culminating in my overall series rankings to commemorate the 25th anniversary. I’ll be re-watching every episode and noting the most memorable lines from each. You can feel free to consider these the definitive rankings, but by all means I’d love to hear from you about what you would change.

First up, season one. Here we go.

24. “The One Where Nana Dies Twice”

  • Most memorable line: “I could get a Brian. If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian.” -Chandler

23. “The One with the Sonogram at the End”

  • Most memorable line: “We agreed we’d spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches!” -Ross

22. “The One with the Ick Factor”

  • Most memorable line: “Okay, could that report BE any later?” -Phoebe (imitating Chandler)

21. “The One with the Stoned Guy”

  • Most memorable line: “Well if you can’t talk dirty to me, how are you gonna talk dirty to her? Now tell me you wanna caress my butt!” -Joey

20. “The One with the Evil Orthodontist”

  • Most memorable line: “I feel violated. And not in a good way.” -Chandler

19. “The One Where the Monkey Gets Away”

  • Most memorable line: “Something just brushed up against my left leg! Oh, never mind, it was just my right leg.” -Phoebe

18. “The One with the East German Laundry Detergent”

  • Most memorable line: “I don’t want to seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…” -Joey

17. “The One with the Fake Monica”

  • Most memorable line: “Joseph Stalin is: The Fiddler on the Roof!” -Chandler

16. “The One with the Monkey”

  • Most memorable line: “I have 12 new songs about my mother’s suicide and one about a snowman.” -Phoebe

15. “The One with Two Parts: Part 1”

  • Most memorable line: “Oh, what do you know? No one’s going up to you and saying, ‘Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?!'” -Carol

14. “The One Where Underdog Gets Away”

  • Most memorable line: “So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m very thankful that all your Thanksgivings sucked.” -Chandler

13. “The One with Mrs. Bing”

  • Most memorable line: “I’ll just pee in the street.” -Joey

12. “The One with Two Parts: Part 2”

  • Most memorable line: “I use my breasts to get other peoples’ attention.” -Rachel
  • “We both do that!” -Monica

11. “The One with the Butt”

  • Most memorable line: “The way I see it, the guy’s upset here, y’know? I mean, his wife’s dead, his brother’s missing…I think his butt would be angry here.” -Joey

10. “The One where Rachel Finds Out”

  • Most memorable line: “Wow, you’re gonna be making money hand over fist.” -Phoebe

9. “The One with the Boobies”

  • Most memorable line: “YOU are supposed to be in THERE so I can see your thing!” -Rachel

8. “The One with the Dozen Lasagnas”

  • Most memorable line: “Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.” -Phoebe

7. “The One with George Stephanopoulos”

  • Most memorable line: “Joey, OM-nipotent.” -Ross
  • “You are?” -Joey

6. “The One with the Candy Hearts”

  • Most memorable line: “Y’know, if we had that, we wouldn’t be doing the ritual in the first place.” -Rachel

5. “The One with the Thumb”

  • Most memorable line: “Oh, Satan’s minions at work again!” -Chandler

4. “The Pilot” (aka “The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate”/”The One Where It All Began”/”The First One”)

  • Most memorable line: “And I just want a million dollars!” -Chandler

3. “The One with the Birth”

  • Most memorable line: “I will always have gum.” -Monica

2. “The One with All the Poker”

  • Most memorable line: “The fifth dentist caved and now they’re all recommending Trident?” -Chandler

1. “The One with the Blackout”

  • Most memorable line (tie): “I’m trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre!” -Chandler
  • “Y’know, on second thought, gum would be perfection.” -Chandler

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